I didn't think I would have another of these so soon, but here ya go. Another installment in Emails From My Parents.
(preface: my whole family, about a dozen of us, had been arguing over stamps. It's a long story. We thought we were done til my cousin restarted it to me..)
Jeff: It appears I have your goat! But, I am married to a Puerto Rican so, it might end up on a spit.
Dad: Did I not give a direct order that this thread is dead. The next person to tag this line is going to get a visit from me. I'll stay for two days and I'll wear nothing but underwear and a tank top and I'll drink beer and eat gassy foods.
Mom: Ok, that cinched it for me! I won't send any more messages!
Dad: I'd comb my back hair for you.
Mom: Oh if only you had been that romantic when we were married......
Mike: Wow. You know; I never thought I would have to learn any of the Stuart-Jan details. Now here we are... You never know what is going to happen next...
Dad: Well, in the first place she's a liar. I was way romantic. I can think of several occasions when I didn't even beat the snot out of her even when she clearly had it coming. But no she didn't tell people about the good stuff did she. No. No she didn't.
Me: This is my punishment, isn’t it. Just because I like to mock you incessantly and point out your many, many flaws. This is how you get back at me. I’ll remember this, you know! I have custody of your grandkids!
Mom: M, please don't interrupt your father when he is hallucinating. He can't help it, poor thing.
- (no subject)